Julia hurried about the room, searching for the wretched box where she kept her jewelry. Inside were the earrings she meant to wear that evening, an evening she was already late for. The crowd there was supposed to be serious, and she had no desire to miss her chance to make an impression in that circle. For a moment, she froze in a kind of stupor, her unfocused gaze unable to find anything to fasten on. A sudden helplessness gave way to anger, and if her eyes could have betrayed it, her pupils would have flared into bright flames and burned through anyone who crossed her path.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. “Oh no, not now,” Julia thought. “Who else now?” She walked to the door and flung it wide open. Andreas stood before her with a foolish, boyish smile, his fingers nervously clutching a small bouquet of flowers, the kind one could buy at any supermarket. “Oh God, this is all I need!” nearly escaped her, her disappointment poorly concealed.
“Hi! I thought it might be nice…” he began, but she cut him off impatiently.
“If you had thought, you wouldn’t have shown up here without calling!” Julia burst out, brushing a stubborn strand of hair from her forehead. “It isn’t that difficult, is it?”
“I wanted to invite you to a late showing,” he said, staring down at the scuffed, pointed toes of his shoes. Then he looked up and added, “Wings of Desire.[1] We’d wanted to see it for ages, remember?”
“That was a very long time ago, Andreas,” Julia said with an impatient sigh. “A very long time! I don’t have time for this nonsense, and I’m in a hurry.”
After this hasty speech, without waiting for an answer, she slammed the door in his face.
“Where is that damned box?” she thought, returning to her search.
Andreas had been pursuing Julia for a long time, and just as unsuccessfully, but by now his persistence had annoyed her beyond endurance.
“A fine beginning to the evening, isn’t it?” she said, rolling her eyes theatrically at an audience that did not exist.
At last, under one of the dresses she had been trying on in a hurry, she found the box. The bamboo lid snapped open with a soft click, her fingers found the earrings, but only on the fifth attempt did she manage to slip them through her earlobes. Julia froze before the mirror. Despite her agitation, she looked wonderful. The flush suited her. The fitted black dress, with a deep cut along the sculpted line of her back, gave Julia an air of mystery and severity at once and emphasized her figure. The heavy, teardrop-shaped silver earrings harmonized with the black and caught the shine of her dark brown eyes.
“I’m ready,” she said to her reflection, and, snatching up her leather purse, ran out into the street.
The invitation for that evening had been obtained for Julia by an old acquaintance, who had been direct enough to say that it was a unique opportunity to make useful connections and perhaps even arrange her personal life. As for the second possibility, she had no particular illusions, and she regarded all such assumptions with considerable skepticism. Of course, she did want to meet someone meant for her one day, but she had no intention of throwing herself headlong into anything. She placed clear-headed judgment above all else, and Julia believed it was one of the elements of success. Nor did she think so without reason. Her entire previous life had been one long confirmation that every decision should be backed by cold calculation. With a degree in economics, at twenty-five she had already managed to establish herself in the best possible way. And still, she was nervous.
Outside it was dark and quiet. The lights of the Berlin TV Tower at Alexanderplatz outlined its needle-like silhouette and round sphere rising into the sky, like some unshakable marker in space. Apart from those lights, only the occasional passerby suggested that anything in this world was still moving.
“How strange,” Julia thought. “It’s only half past nine, and everyone has already hidden somewhere…”
She had expected to catch a taxi, and usually at that hour there was no problem with that, but now, as luck would have it, there was no transport to be found.
“That’s always how it is! Whenever life seems about to change, something extraordinary happens, or else exactly the opposite happens, and nothing happens at all. Why today?” Julia bit her lip, looking around helplessly.
Unexpectedly, a car appeared at the empty intersection. Its headlights approached slowly, as if the driver were lost in thought.
“Please don’t turn, please don’t turn…” Julia repeated, tightening her fingers around her purse as though her fate depended on it. To her great relief, the car continued straight ahead. Julia began waving her arms vigorously. Although she looked ridiculous in an evening dress on an empty street, she was certain he would stop. He did not disappoint her. The car slowed beside her.
“Where are you headed?” he asked, lowering the window.
“Oh, you know, I’m in such a hurry, and you’re a stroke of luck crossing my path…” she said, flustered and stumbling over her words.
“I’m not so sure about luck,” he interrupted her, “but whether you’ll prove good fortune or ill fate for me, we shall see. Get in, and don’t forget to buckle up.”
She did not hesitate and shut the door behind her.
“Charlottenburg Palace. Do you know where that is?”
“I’m not a frequent guest in Berlin, and I don’t know the area well,” the stranger said with a shrug. “You’ll have to show me the way.”
“Thank you so much! I’m so grateful to you!” she said with feeling, barely keeping the tremor out of her voice.
“You can thank me later,” he said, pressing down on the gas.
Once the car started moving, Julia felt as if a weight had lifted from her heart, and now she could take a better look at her rescuer. He was a middle-aged man, with pronounced cheekbones and a strong chin with a dimple. The streetlights pulled a few wrinkles from the darkness of his face, but they only gave him a certain sense of completeness and truth. He seemed genuine and out of the ordinary. She could not make out the rest, but what she saw reassured her. His low voice had a velvety undertone, and for the first time that evening, Julia was able to relax.
“If it isn’t a secret, where are you rushing off to?” he asked, glancing briefly at his passenger.
“Nothing special. I was given a chance to attend an evening where remarkable people gather in a small, select circle,” she said with a shrug, trying to sound casual.
“I see. An interesting idea,” he said with a measure of skepticism.
“What would you know about it?” Julia snapped, unable to contain herself.
“Indeed, what would I know?” the driver continued in the same tone. “It isn’t hard to guess how such parties usually end.”
“Parties? And how do they end, in your opinion?”
“Until you see for yourself and get burned, you won’t understand. But the aftertaste will be unpleasant. Not everyone who looks cultured truly is. So it is not my place to talk you out of the idea. What is your name, by the way? I forgot to ask.”
“Julia. And yours?”
“So then, Julia,” he was about to continue.
“Does your name not matter?” she asked, now genuinely angry.
“Am I being interrogated? Stefan. My name is Stefan.”
“A pleasure,” Julia said with poisonous sarcasm. “Was it so difficult to return the courtesy?”
His answer threw her completely off balance.
“I don’t want there to be any misunderstanding.”
Julia had not expected it to wound her so deeply. She was not accustomed to receiving a preemptive rejection from men. Usually, everything was exactly the other way around.
“What? What are you talking about? The thought never even crossed my mind.”
For a while they continued driving in complete silence. Julia watched the streetlights blur at high speed into a single glittering line, trying in vain to overtake itself. Where was everyone hurrying? It was a good question. Did the one who arrived first always become the winner? Much depended on the price paid for success. Who would be satisfied with a Pyrrhic victory?
The screech of the brakes tore the girl from the haze of her thoughts, and the car swerved toward the roadside.
“What happened?” she breathed, gulping air after the seat belt had dug painfully into her chest.
“Nothing terrible. We’re alive. I’m afraid something damaged the underside of the car. A stone or something like it must have gone under the car,” he replied.
“Of course! I should have expected this turn of events,” Julia said bitterly. “This evening promised to be like this from the very beginning.”
She was hurt almost to tears. A whole chain of misfortunes had come down on her.
“So what happens next?” she asked. “How long will it take to fix it?”
“I’m afraid we’ll need help,” Stefan said guiltily, looking under the hood. “Oil is leaking out. I’ll have to call a tow truck.”
“Oh no! Wonderful! Thank you and goodbye!”
Julia turned around and started walking along the roadside, moving farther and farther away. Stefan did not try to stop her. He himself was upset, and he had no wish to make matters worse by arguing with this charming but nervous girl. It was enough that, in a short span of time, he had managed to get divorced and move to a new place, and now this encounter on top of it all.
Fortunately, the next day was a day off, and there was no need to hurry, but standing by the car all night was the last thing he wanted. He was tired, and he had neither the patience nor the strength to wait for help. By happy accident, however, home was only about half an hour away on foot. And by an irony of fate, it stood in precisely the direction this high-society lady had gone.
“Though she is not high-society at all,” he caught himself thinking. “She probably only wants to be.”
The trees rustled, the wind rose, and the rain came pouring down. Dense streams of water came crashing down on the streets, houses, bridges, shrubs, and every patch of greenery, leaving not a single dry place. Julia was soaked at once. She walked and cried. Her hurt had broken loose, but her tears mixed with the raindrops, and from the expression on her face it was easy enough to see how upset she was. Suddenly someone grabbed her by the hand. It was Stefan, and he shouted:
“Run!”
And they ran.
She no longer cared, and so she obeyed.
Fifteen minutes later they were standing outside his building, and he was unlocking the door to his apartment.
“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll be quick,” he said, and went into the next room.
A few minutes later he brought slippers, a warm terrycloth robe, and a towel. Handing her this bundle, he ushered her into the bathroom and ordered her not to come out until she had warmed up.
Julia obeyed almost against her will, but with pleasure she stepped under the hot shower and thought, “This is probably the first good thing that has happened all evening,” and gave herself over entirely to the sensation.
When she came out of the bathroom, she noticed a small table laid out, with strong coffee steaming fragrantly on it beside a small bowl filled with candy and cookies.
“Please, come to the table,” Stefan said awkwardly. “I wasn’t expecting guests, so I have nothing more to offer.”
“This is more than enough, thank you,” Julia said. “I’m not so easily embarrassed.”
“At your formal reception, I suppose everything would have been quite different?” he said with a smile. “Don’t be shy. I’m not much of a sweets lover, but I still keep strategic reserves close at hand.”
And for the first time that evening, he smiled. He had a very sweet smile and, most important, a kind one, or so it seemed to Julia, and she smiled back at him. The room they were in was lined with books. The spines of reference volumes stood beside works of fiction, mostly classics from various eras, from Goethe to Hermann Hesse. The record player and impressive vinyl collection did not escape her notice either.
“Stefan, you read a lot,” Julia observed with respect.
“Not as much as I would like, but I can’t imagine my life without books,” he replied, leaning back in his chair.
“Only books?” she asked.
“Lately, yes, because I’m tired of everything else.”
Julia sighed with disappointment.
“Sometimes I imagine the world could be different, and people kinder.”
“There is nothing shameful in that. We never stop searching because we cannot do otherwise,” Stefan said thoughtfully, taking a large swallow of coffee.
“And at the same time, it is an escape from reality,” she said quietly.
“If we cannot allow ourselves to be happy, then what is all this for?” The warm light of the floor lamp was reflected in his gray eyes.
“I don’t have any answers,” Julia said, shaking her head wearily, and her disheveled hair fell over her shoulders.
“It’s late,” Stefan said, rising from his seat. “I’ll make the bed for you in the other room. I’ll sleep here, on the sofa. I’m used to it. We’ve both had a difficult day.”
Julia could not shake the feeling that for the first time in a long while, a real person stood before her, not just another figure made of papier-mâché. It seemed to her that if she, like Alice in Wonderland, were simply to clap her hands and cry, “Enough!” all the characters would turn into an ordinary deck of cards scattered across the table.
Before her stood a kind, tired man who was not trying to be someone else, and she could not string even a few words together. She desperately wanted to say something important, but nothing came to mind. Tomorrow, everything might already be different.
Julia looked at Stefan without looking away, and he could not take his eyes off her.
Stefan noticed that she was trembling, took a step toward her, their fingers entwined almost of their own accord, and the world shrank to the limits of that room.
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